A perfect list

In a perfect world, finding work that would fulfill and sustain me would include the following things.

It would . . . 

1. integrate my intuitive empath
2. incorporate travel and exploring
3. have to be flexible and full of variety
4. involve working with people who are upbeat, positive, open to new ideas, and interested & willing to learn
5. be an open and fluid organization that is not trapped by a broken system
6. include easy access to life outside (outdoors or otherwise)
7. involve working with those that are young in mind and spirit
8. have a focus that is intellectually stimulating
9. needs to include people from all over the world

In a year where anything feels possible, this list is perfect for this not so perfect world. 

I'm FINE. No, really!

What if you consciously decide to take a leave from your job in education for a year?  How does that work, exactly or better yet how does it feel?  Frankly, a little nerve-racking but, come late August it feels absolutely fine!

On my third consecutive weekend trip up to Camp Cloud this month, I caught a promo of NPR's Ted Talk Hour on an upcoming show on school suffocating creativity.  Yes, it's that time of year when the focus of many shows on NPR are all around schools and the problems and joys facing those in the field.  Immediate relief flooded over me again, as I thought about how good it feels not to be trudging back through the school doors to face my colleagues forced cheery greetings and our superficial chit chat about our wonderful but, all too short, summers. Navigating the halls already thick with tension
and nervous energy (aka dread) would make my stomach churn. And yet, everyone determinedly paints on their their everything is fine and we're so happy to be here face.  ---FINE, a fellow teacher from another district informed me, means: fucked up, insecure, neurotic and emotional (I felt an immediate kinship to this woman).  They were the first true words I had heard spoken that early fall day! 

So . . . here I am feeling FINE, minus the churning stomach, and it feels so good! 

 

Insight from Pema on having to be right

If it weren't for Pema (and Ellen), I'd be more lopsided than I am. It's nice to have friends and inspirational icons to remind you about what we all face: the infernal groundlessness of life.  And . . . somehow it feels comforting!

We feel that we have to be right so that we can feel good. We don’t want to be wrong because then we’ll feel bad. But, we could be more compassionate toward all these parts of ourselves.

The whole right and wrong business closes us down and makes our world smaller. Wanting situations and relationships to be solid, permanent, and graspable obscures the pith of the matter, which is that things are fundamentally groundless. 

-Pema Chödrön

Templates and I thought this would be easy

Well, I didn't think creating this so called blog would take so long to figure out.  It shouldn't have but, now I've gone and wasted a bunch of time!
 

Shannon Wheeler's To-do list in Funny Times seems appropriate about now.

1. Get paper and pencil.
2. Think about things To-Do.
3. Start writing To-Do List.
4. Watch the list get really big.
5. Get overwhelmed.
6. Panic.
7. Start doing stuff (that isn't the stuff you're trying to do do)
8. Have anxiety.
9. Work on list again.
10. Add increasingly impossible things to the list.
11. Think about the things you wanted to do in your life but haven't done. Realize that your life is a waste and that achieving even the simplest goals is beyond you.
12. Allow yourself to be filled with shame.
13. Freak out.
14. Spend so much time on the To-Do List that you run out of time to actually do anything. 
15. Give up.